Educate by example. The emotional inheritance.

"Your children learn from you."

By Carmen Boix. Mentor of new lives and expert in coaching..

You are the mirror where your children see themselves reflected in an unconscious process that shapes their future personality, relationships, and tastes or preferences. A process that has been repeating from generation to generation and that we must pay attention to if we truly want happy children who make up healthier societies and therefore a better world.

I assume that like all parents on the planet, you want to be a Good example For your children and you want to be a guide for them to help them live with the greatest possible happiness, at least that's what all the parents who come to consult us say when they are dealing with something that is happening with their children. Well, as the saying goes Maria Montessori, And the truth is that our best intentions are not enough to help our children become everything they were meant to be, a conscious process is necessary. Self-healing from our own childhood wounds in order to not repeat processes, whether out of loyalty or polarity.

If you read it the latest post You probably already know a little about what I'm talking to you about. In it, I tell you how "Your unconscious mind directs your life for you.", And the truth is, that's where the key lies to everything that happens to us, to all the conflicts we experience, and to everything we fail to improve in our lives. In this case, yours. subconscious You have already decided what kind of dad or mom you are going to be, and the most common thing, or what happens to most people, is that you will be in conflict with the type of parent that you have consciously set out to be. You will discover this precisely through the conflicts you will have with your children throughout your life.

Look at what a great teacher your son has become for you!

Can you grasp the scope of what I'm telling you? It's as big as the idea that leaving them a better world depends on you. Self-healing As an adult, in this case as a father or mother, it will be necessary to review your history with your loved ones and thus, stop inheriting what our parents did not know how to emotionally resolve.

The emotional impacts important These factors are also inherited, and the environment that was present in the core of a family during a child's development, such as infidelities, betrayals, recurring arguments, shouting, relationship with money, depressive tendencies, or neuroses, can change the genetic expression, leading to symptoms and illnesses. Epigenetics It is the science that studies the changes that the environment produces in gene expression without modifying the DNA structure and that are heritable. Bruce Lipton He explains it masterfully in his book., "The Biology of Belief", A book that, from my point of view, should be mandatory reading for anyone who truly intends to be Owner of your life And responsible for what they are going to pass on to their children, to be fully aware of how the emotional environment determines who we are as adults and what kind of adults our children are going to become.

This is how it happened

You forged your program without realizing it, based on what you experienced with your own parents, you made a balance based on pleasure or pain, and what hurt you, you sent it to... "the shadow" (term coined by the famous psychiatrist Carl G. JungI'm sorry, but it seems like you have entered a parenthesis symbol ")" without any text. Could you please provide me with the text you would like me to translate from Spanish to English? To avoid suffering again, you hid it deep within yourself, denying it or repressing it. But what you don't know is that your child will form a mirror reflecting that which you possibly don't even remember and are not aware of. conflicts to resolve Unhealed and unseen wounds continue to operate within you below the level of consciousness, causing you to project your frustrations, expectations, and even onto your children and other adults. wounds and your fears.

As a professional in the field, you are aware that many adults currently come to therapy with conflicts with their children, and everything they are experiencing is influenced by unresolved issues from their own childhoods. I would say that this is the root of almost all the conflicts we experience as adults and as a society. These unresolved processes usually prevent you from seeing them as they truly are and are not allowing them to become who they were meant to be. The majority of conflicts with children and with the world stem from your own childhood. inner child not healed and from a mental programming based on values that compel us to never feel like we are enough, that is to say, Insecure, activating all kinds of behaviors to show ourselves to the world with a mask that hides our fears and insecurities.

Our unmet needs or, on the opposite, the overprotection What we receive from our parents, and they from theirs, is what we unconsciously show our children through our tastes, preferences, values, prejudices, beliefs, demands, judgments, and personality traits. All of that is what the child will primarily absorb from you. All of that is contained in your speeches, but sermons themselves do not help them, educate them, or change them. Did your parents' sermons have an effect on you? They absorb your attitude, your personality, your way of relating to others, and your behaviors. If what you tell them is not directly in line with what you do, they discard it, keeping the remaining 80% of the message. non-verbal communication

What can I do?

Closing those unfinished matters is an unavoidable task as responsible parents who want the best for them, and that's what María Montessori meant when she said, loving them is not enough. Deciding to break the vicious and unhealthy cycle that we as families repeat, asking for help to understand the "hidden part" that shows you their relationship with him, understanding why that child drives us crazy, specifically one and not another, and always the same one, why we dislike so much what he does, why it is so difficult for us to love him as he is, why we are determined to make him what we want, to change him, why we pressure him every day to do or not to do things, are some examples. Being aware of all this and choosing to heal it lights a path for our self-realization as parents. With this, we can change those shouts or anger for acceptance and understanding and transform that guilt we feel when we realize afterwards the rejection and resentment it generates, making way for the only energy that transforms from within and heals definitively: CONSCIOUS LOVE.

All of this requires a true act of love first towards yourself, dear dad or mom, so that you can then give it unconditionally to those you love the most., your children.

If you want to expand your knowledge on this topic, which I hope you do, I recommend reading Laura Gutman. "Motherhood and the encounter with one's own shadow", I'm sorry, but the text you provided is incomplete. Please provide more context or the complete text so that I can accurately translate it for you. "Your child, your mirror" ,I'm sorry, but the text provided does not seem to be complete. It appears to be a name "Yoshinori Noguchi", but it lacks context or additional information. Could you please provide more details or clarify? "The law of the mirror", In all my years of experience, I have not found a more powerful tool for self-healing than the Law of the Mirror. If you need my help, I will be delighted to answer any of your questions through my Instagram. @carmenboix_mentora.

With all my love,
Carmen

From Olmitos, We want to accompany you on the journey of fatherhood. Discover all the products that will help you in the process at [website]. Olmitos.com.