"The unconscious directs your life for you"

I'm sorry, but your message is too short for me to understand the context. Could you please provide more information or a longer text for me to translate?If you don't discover it, you are conditioning your child's life..

Carmen Boix. Mentor of new lives and expert in coaching..

I don't know if you have heard this before, but if you haven't, it is very important that you know it, and if you have already heard it, take it as something to keep in mind now that you are starting this stage of parenthood that excites and worries you at the same time.

As the title states, there is someone directing your life for you, and as long as you are not aware of it and reprogram it, you will continue to believe that you are choosing or deciding something for the reasons you tell yourself in your mind, or that it is a matter of bad or good luck. But in reality, it is not like that; your subconscious is doing it for you, and your mind is justifying its choice through the internal dialogue you maintain with yourself, yes, that internal chatter that never stops and follows you everywhere. How annoying, it won't be quiet for a moment!

Let me tell you, although I must say that what I am going to tell you should be shared with all of us during our educational stage so that we can go out into the world with this extremely important information in our second birth, adolescence. Have you ever wondered why they don't do it? That stage where we have more than enough of our parents, their lectures, and their rules, and we only want to find our group of belonging, the one that understands us, and spend as much time as possible with them, does it sound familiar to you? Unless precisely everything you experienced during your upbringing led you to be a more withdrawn teenager who has struggled or is still struggling to find that group to belong to and feel recognized, and has lived their adolescence trying to fit in and be accepted somewhere, moving from one group to another, or simply taking refuge in their inner world and not wanting to go out. What has been your case? In any case, it is what has turned you into the adult you are and the parent you are going to be, or already are.

Your children learn from you.

I don't know what your situation has been, nor do I know at what moment of your life you are reading this article that only aims to bring a little light to your daily life, and very particularly to the parts of your life that don't seem to be working out or that you simply would like to improve so that your children can see the best of you. As I always say and will say to all the parents who come to sessions with me: "The best gift that parents can give to their children is having healed themselves as a man or woman.", And now I remind you: "Your children learn from you.". That's why when I'm asked who needs emotional intelligence education and an understanding of how our minds work the most, given the current state of society, I unhesitatingly say it's for parents or adults in general, teachers, leaders... because it is from them that children will emotionally nourish themselves, and it is on them that adults will project our internal conflicts and expectations.

The emotional quality we receive as children makes a difference in the adults we will become., That's how important emotional intelligence and having healed as parents are. to contribute in the healthiest possible way to the development of their personality.

Throughout this process, the subconscious plays a determining role, and adolescence is a stage of going out into the world and emancipating ourselves from our parents. It is during this stage that we are consciously or unconsciously sifting through what we have experienced - keeping some things, discarding others, liking certain things, hating others - from all that we have learned at home during the upbringing stage, from the most important figures that have been part of it, and from their closest environment., Especially from dad and mom, and how they related to their parents, your grandparents, and the world. Thus reaffirming our personality, the one we shaped in our early childhood through our experiences and the stimuli we received.

Remember, your children learn from you, and you learned from your parents, and your parents learned from theirs, and so on. Let's take a look back at whatever you want. Becoming aware and reviewing our history is very important, even though in reality, Everything that needs to be seen and resolved unfolds in our present in the form of conflicts with others and with the world in general.. In other words, life shows it to us through all those things we don't like and don't know how to change no matter how hard we try, and it continues to cause us stress, anxiety, or conflicts in our relationships with others. Do you see yourself reflected in this? Has your mind brought up any memories or issues that you've been wanting to be different for a long time?... Grab a pen and paper or that wonderful cutting-edge mobile phone you have and write it down, at some point it will be very useful to you.

The key lies in the subconscious.

There is stored the largest database you can imagine, laugh at Google's servers, and I'm telling you this very seriously. I won't go into numbers because that's not important, but you should know that your entire personal history, that of your ancestors, and the evolution of the human species in general is "stored" in that database that guides your life for you. It takes control over your decisions and choices based on its main program: survival, and secondarily: pleasure or pain. In short, we move away from what causes us pain, to avoid suffering or dying, FEAR, and we approach what brings us pleasure, LOVE, that is, to those we love. Everything you think, feel, say, believe, imagine, and do comes from the information stored in your subconscious mind. Can you imagine how important it is to make it conscious?...

You don't make any decisions, she does it for you based on the information you have stored in the form of beliefs, values, fears, wounds, and shadows that you have been keeping there as you grew up trying to protect yourself from what once made you suffer and caused you pain., Even if you don't remember it now or consciously believe that it's because you made a conscious decision. Nothing is what it seems...

And now comes the most important part, ""When your conscious decisions or will are in opposition to the programs stored in your subconscious mind, you will not be able to change."

Emotional intelligence is here to stay and is a skill that will increasingly become more prevalent in many areas of our society. From my professional experience, before learning emotional intelligence techniques that can partially help you better guide your children, in future posts I will talk about them., First, you have to change those unconscious programs that you formed through your experiences, change those beliefs that activate themselves and control your life for you. To protect yourself from your fears and wounds. As long as you don't do this, you will continue to repeat patterns and you will not be able to effectively manage your emotions, your mind, or your body, and consequently, your attitude, your actions, and your results. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about...

The good news is that you can change that programming that you have in your unconscious mind which is preventing you from living as your best self, and being the mom or dad you want to be for your children., To develop your full potential without so much effort and self-sabotage, and make life much easier and happier, leaving behind the fear of suffering, of not being enough, of not being able, of not having, of not reaching, of what others will say, of what they will think, of not being loved, of being rejected, of being abandoned...

Unresolved emotional impacts modify cells and, consequently, DNA, which are then genetically inherited. This is also science. Don't you want a better world for your children whom you love so much? Your only responsibility is to be the change you want to see in the world, as Gandhi told us.

I hope to have made you reflect and question some of the old paradigms, and to have planted in you the seed of curiosity and research, and if possible, the will to start your own process of self-knowledge so that you can live fully and be the beacon that your children need, which is none other than the one you needed from your own.

But remember, the path always leads inwards, never outwards.

Another way of living is possible, I can attest to that. A heartfelt hug to you!!

Carmen Boix